Friday, October 29, 2010

Life Qs - Unanswered!!!

Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is what James Allen says in his book As a Man Thinketh.

I thought on this -- Then why does it happen that some honest people always fail and dishonest people always win!!!

He also had an answer for this; he opines that a dishonest man may have some admirable virtues which the other honest man doesn't, and likewise an honest man may have some obnoxious vices which bring failure to it. I accept the answer, PARTIALLY!!!

Why Partially? This cannot be true with all the beings. The reason is -- One of my first cousin (who passed away last year) and his daughters story.

He got married the previous year and the couple was expecting a baby the next year. But fate was ruthless! He suffered with some incurable illness and passed away, when his wife was expecting the delivery the next fortnight. He could not see the baby, he could not love his child. OK, for a time we'll think of what Mr. Allen says i.e. may be he did not do good deeds, so his life end so early and this way. But what about the baby, which was brought to this world a fortnight, after its father was on a journey, which would never bring him back! She never had a father, who would love, care, play, teach her.

What was the baby left with - a mother, who is not enough educated to go out work and feed her baby, or despaired grandparents or the innumerable questions it will have to answer as time passes

When the baby has no deeds done, but will still face difficulties, what brought it bad fate!!! So its not only THE MAN, which has the ultimate power or power to do miracles, but its also the situation, the environment HE grows in.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Understanding 'ME'

I have not been regular in posting and so i am sorry to the COMMITMENT i have made. Will try to be regular as far as blogging is concerned. :P

Last week was all full of tasks to be done at home. Reason NAVRATRI and DUSSEHRA. The festivals which the whole country celebrates in their own unique culture. But the feelings of devotion, love, victory remain the same. You know, you can have one hundred thousand reasons to love this land!!!

I have been thinking to post on some or the other topic, but every time i postpone it and then i forget it. This has been happening with me since my last post. I read some status on Facebook. I think a lot on it, then i feel this would be my topic to post, then i suddenly forget it....then think on some interesting talk among friends or very interestings group of maids :P (They continue to amuse me with the topics they talk on -- from their house issues to market rates to mehngai (inflation), to festivals, to shopping, to schools and so on.......). Again i forget this too!!!
How stupid of me!!! :(

I have been spending time with my pet parrot, who now perfectly calls out my name, calls out when she is very happy or when she wants to eat something. She,  calling only my name, has made me feel proud and special :P (All others have tried making her learn their names and failed) :D

On the other front, festival of lights Diwali, is not making me feel great, coz i have exams 2 days before Diwali and exactly 2 days after it. (Hats off the academic cell of my college, who is saying whatever the way may be, we need to see you frustrated).

And on book front, read, ADIGA's WHITE TIGER, which was very worth of Booker Prize. I apologize to all the great book lovers about me reading the book, after years, but spare a mortal like me, who is still an embryonic reader.

Hoping to remember the topic for next post. ( and writing on the same) :P :D

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Be away!!!

I'm not being rude to anyone, but this post will act as my anger-absorber today.

I was scheduled to attend an interview for an MNC today. But i was not sure to attend the interview neither was i sure to take the job (If i get one).

I will just write something more about my life since past one and half years. I have not performed upto the  mark. There were two reasons for this:
One being physically not well, continuously suffering from one or the other ailment. Second being my mother's illness i.e. Alzeimers' and me being the only caretaker as of now, has brought in a hurricane in my life.

These reasons have been disturbing my daily routine, my career, my personal growth and every little thing i have been aspiring for in life.

The reason i have blabbered so much is, one my SO CALLED friend, teased me if i will be able to perform in the interview (taking into consideration my performance since a year). This hurt me so much, so so much. Because he knew all the reasons of my under performance in these past months and he also knew, how i have been through-out my career till now.

Why do people have prejudice in mind? How can someone jump to conclusions without understanding the situations ? Why do such people call themselves friends? (Only for friendship day party)

So the lesson i learned from this incident was, BE AWAY, from such people who fake of being friends, don't ever share your problems with anyone because the possibility that they would make fun out of it, is more, and the most important is trust yourself.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The divided ME!!!

After a week break, i am neither feeling relaxed nor refreshed. But feeling more fatigued, low, and confused. :(

At crossroads, when you are filled with a 'combo pack' of emotions, you want some avenue to let it out, so do i, and this is the way am doing it!!! 

These days, life is full of mental pressure, thoughts which are making me feel  alone, sad, uncomfortable...as if i am running out of energy, enthusiasm, that something which motivates me to wake up in the morning and live life, not necessarily 'as prescribed', but my own way....right or wrong!!!

Why this to me? (I know I'm not the only one...hah!!!...I'm being so sympathetic towards myself) This point of time is the most important phase of my life, be it, career, personal life, mothers illness, my own intellectual growth, anything!!! But i'm not able to justify it to any ONE thing!!! I'm so divided between all the things...so scattered...Imagine i am running many marathons all at a time, and trying to finish all of them!!! Poor my heart!!! :(  Does it understand, i can't! Even if i try to run it, and finish, i would win neither of them. It would simply mean, i'm running for the sake of doing it.

But its so difficult to choose one marathon. All are important. All make me 'complete'. My participation in all is important. One cannot be sacrificed at the cost of other. The feeling of sacrifice is the cause of mental pressure. Only the 'infinite power' and destiny (i believe), will make out the path.

This takes me back to title of blog. How could i keep aside the HUE of SACRIFICE, when i'm talking of hues of life!!!